So...I'm sick (in light of that fact, be aware that this post will probably ramble or at times seem incohesive...possibly).
Tonsillitis, to be exact. Not strep...checked that out this morning. I'm having to put a lot of things on hold. A term paper. Piano juries. An exam.
My "daily office," or daily work, so to speak, has consisted mostly of sleeping since this past Saturday. That's five days of mostly sleeping.
How unproductive. But then again, I did pray for healing, now didn't I?
I think too often we want healing, or anything else, and we want it now. From my experience, that's not always how God works. It is sometimes. About a month ago, my throat started acting up, and I prayed, took medicine, ate apples, took a hot shower, meditated, etc. And it cleared up in the same afternoon. Not so this time. After getting back to Gardner-Webb campus on Friday night after caroling at a Hospice House, my throat started acting up again.
"Great", I thought. "Here we go again. Time for the checklist. Sleep in for a long time in the morning. Eat like a vegetarian tomorrow, pray for healing, take some medicine. It should be cleared up by the morning."
Wrong.
By the end of a sleep-filled Sunday (I did go to an 8:30 service, after which I promptly crawled back into bed), I was starting to realize that this illness was going to have a big effect on the end of my semester.
my semester. Did you hear that? Let me repeat just in case you didn't get it: my.
This sickness is interferring with my plans. I don't think I've slept this much in...well...since I was an infant. This is actually not that much of a wait. I'm assuming I'll be up and running by at least Saturday, which will be a week. A week is not that long to wait. But it has and will seem like an eternity of waiting. All the while, reminders of what should be happening keep dancing around in my head. You should be practicing. You should be working on that paper due Friday. You should be catching up on the Advent devotional guide readings. Ha. The last one is humorous. But it's the truth. But I believe. I believe that at the end of this long, dark, hellish night, there will be a bright, shining, cool, irritation-free, white-stuff-on-my-pharynx-gone, morning. And I will be healed. Healed from what ails me. For the meantime, I'm going to have to learn to give thanks in all situations. Meditating on the Trinity and the work of Jesus on the cross helps. Saying a Psalm or two helps. While rolling around all night with a fever, I thought of--once again, quite humorously--"Christ Jesus lay in death's strong bonds," a chorale harmonized by Bach. And the morning did come. And the fever was gone (I did take some nyquil).
This week of Peace has been a forced week of peace for me. I've had to let go of many things and just be content with being, as I allow healing to happen. It's nothing I can do of my own work...I just have to let the dr.'s wisdom, the medicine, the rest, and ultimately, the Holy Spirit of God, heal me.
I'm going to finish tonight's Advent devotional guide readings (available at www.gardner-webb.edu/advent), eat some salad and chicken soup, take a full dose of nyquil, and go to sleep. God willing. And just before I sleep, I will pray the song of Simeon:
"Lord, you now have set your servant free
to go in peace as you have promised.
for these eyes of mine have seen the Savior,
whom you have prepared for all the world to see.
A light to enlighten the nations,
and the glory of your people, Israel."
Because, I have seen Christ today. In the midst of my Advent tonsillitis, I have seen the Savior. And then, I will imagine Revelation 7:9-17 (KJV), as I have every other night this semester, and fall asleep resting in the promise of a new heaven, a new earth, and a new pharynx. All under the reign of Christ, who is coming.
Amen.
